thankyouverymooch | IC: Candlecall Post

[ oh. which means someone left. already. ]

...Congratulations on officially becoming an older brother, then.

We've done our best for him already, of course, but the cards weren't really in his favor.

It's hard to tell what happened if you're this vague, you know.

There was a game.

... not a pleasant one, was it.

[ god what timing ]

I'm sorry to hear. Tell me about it?

...It wasn't like the games I've played in before.

But Carnelian came out alright, I think. [but he's still not sure what to do or say |b] The Persona showed us Camelot on fire and we were to save things. If we chose one way he messed with our minds the other way we were injured. Then at the end he told us we were infected by the Darkness and had a chose to kill ourselves or not.

[...that's it in short, and he is trying not to look sick thinking about it. because dead bodies.]

Carnelian has always been good with these games. Your new guy -- I'm sure he will be fine, too.

Did you get something bad, while playing?

We made it through and didn't let the Persona choose the path for us. That's the important part.

[...]

I--Something like that is not something... [He's trying so hard.] It's not something I do well with.

[And he's trying really hard to be as usual. Especially during the game, where it was most important. He's not sure what to do now.]

[ taking a small pause, trying to gauge what to say. And then he sighs, arms crossed together at his chest ]

I don't know what you saw. But don't beat yourself up too much over not being able to do well with it. Strength has nothing to do with being able to deal with everything that comes your way -- it's about standing every time you're forced down.

That you can recognize this right now means you can grow. Even if it's not something you should get used to, or want to get used to, the things you're feeling right now will become the foundation of the person you'll be. Cry and scream and get angry. And let this become your strength.

[quieting for a while. going left field, but it's important for him to even consider.]

...What do you think Carnelian's strength is?

An overwhelming desire to survive. Of course I don't know all of your current teammates, so I can't say how things have changed. But Carnelian has always been an intelligent and pragmatic team.

Even if you guys are different, so long as you all have the same goal, things will always go smoothly. But your individual abilities and strength and what you decide to bring to the table are also important. Each member is important in shaping up your path as a team.

Then it's really okay to be emotional...

Being emotional isn't bad at all. It can even shake things up a bit, you know.

The others don't seem to like it very much. Or enthusiasm.

I--I'll admit. Perhaps my goal isn't to survive but to stay together with everyone. But in that way it's the same, I think. Sometimes I'm over the top, but I always try to think of what I've heard them say and what might be an answer to make a difference... But if there are worse games than that... I suppose... I need to do my best.

[ silent for a bit ]

Say ... do you know the word "tsundere"?

Eh--?

It was taught to me a while ago, in Aather! A person who acts cranky and harsh and says things like "don't get cocky, it's not like I like you, you hear?!" is a tsundere.

Carnelian is fundamentally that type of team. Even if you think "the others won't like it", you should be true to yourself. More likely than not, they're being tsunderes.

So what you're saying is they really lie it when I'm myself!

[he perks up. some! a little!]

I knew it!

They probably do find it irritating. But it's fine, they will most certainly like you even with that.

That aside, it's good to learn from others, but you're your own person. Observe those who have more experience than you, but follow your own path. That's also part of growing stronger.

Yes, I know. But is it really wrong not to want to cause a trouble for our team?

That depends. It's admirable that you're capable of being flexible, but that doesn't mean denying yourself every time.

I'm not saying to push your opinion on everyone. But discuss it. You're your own person, and Carnelian will shine the most when you do what you can.

That said... do you want to tell me how things went for you, in the game? I can't say talking ever helped me, but it helps some people. I always approached Crown for sparring together when I was upset.

I already do what I can. I hardly deny myself when I see that certain things might not work as well as thought.

[fidgets]

Ah... Well, I suppose it wasn't as terrible as it could have been...

[still terrible, but.]

That doesn't make it any less terrible, Venus.

...No, you're right.

Don't belittle your own emotions like that.

But it's good that you're trying to surpass it.

Re: [316 night]

embracingly - 2014-01-24 18:25 (UTC) - Expand